my own scary thoughts

daisypath udh 3 bulan lgi nii..berarti, insyaallah akan ktmu bey in about 2 months over..hihi..senangnyaaa..ak mw peluk2 pokoknyaaa..pengen cubit2, biar bukti klw udh real..hihi..

4 hari lgi nii gw kerja..to be honest, gw ga bgtu kepikiran2 banget tentang kawinan..ntah kenapa..klw kata rere, santai kaya di pantai..inilah yg sedang terjadi..padahal, yg masi belom kelar mah banyak buangeeettt..undangan belom (malah belom nemu vendor)..surat2 NA jga belom..list undangan juga masi jauh ajuaaaaah dari kelar..alamat para undangan, baru nemu beberapa..apik yaah? hihi..

those things don't bother me that much..what concerns me the most is our LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE..awalnya ga begitu kepikiran soal ini..cuman ko makin deket k hari H, makin kepikiran yaaa gmana..ditambah lgi, makin banyak orang nanya 'ntar gmana?'

hampir 3 taun yg lalu, gw ninggalin belanda beserta isinya..yg tinggal cuman satu orang, yaitu si bey..hihi..it was hard for me to leave the country, because I grew up from a teenager to a woman *ciiihh..situ pedee??!* there..I found my jati diri there..found my love of my life *shy shy cat*..but i moved on..I try not to remember the good times I had there..

now..i'm about to marry the man that i really love..but the idea of moving there, scares me a bit..because, i won't have my parents if i run out of money..yaaa..mungkin ga segtu2nya yaaa..karna kn bey jga ada penghasilan tetap..yg setelah kita itung2, Insyaallah bisa idup dn masi bisa nabung walo hanya seuprit..tpi, klw dulu, waktu sekolah, ada orang tua yg bisa d mintain klw pas duit lgi cekak..sekarang, moso mw minta sama org tua..dmana harga diri suamikuu *calon*? kasian donk..dia pan laki2..huhu..laki2 itu kn harganya dirinya setinggi langit..hihi..

okay..let's move on to the next thing..disana mau ngapain? you know what? soooo many people have asked me this question..NTAR, DISANA MAU NGAPAIN? KERJAA? frankly, i don't have the answer yet..but we do have some plans and back-up plans, in case one doesn't work out..ya tau2 aja yaaa..jaman sekarang kan lgi susah2nya cari kerja..whew..

tpi ak juga nda mau nyusahin suami..huhu..kapan itu, bey sempet nanya 'kamu mau kita sampe kapan di LN?'..wadoohh..saya maaahh ngikut yaaa..secara saya pan makmum..jdi kemana iman mw bergerak, makmum pun ikutlah yaa beserta para laskar2 kita nanti *amiin*..

btw, last night got an offline message from bey *sebenernya bukan offline sie..ym tetep nyala d bb, cuman karna akika udh tidur, jadi ya wassalam ajalah yaa..hihi*..dia bilang..there's a chance that our application for my visa would be rejected..ya mudah2an sie engga ya, Insyaallah..cuman, we never know what could happen, right? tau apa yg d bilang bey d ym?
kalo kamu ga dapet visa, aku udh mantepin hati untuk stay dulu mungkin d KL, cari kerja dsana..aku ga bisa pisah lagi sama kamu..

kebayang ga sie gmana rasanya baca statement begitu jam 5 pgi? apa gw ga termehek2? huhu..Insyaallah bisa..tawakal, doa dn usaha Insyaallah akan menghasilkan sesuatu yg indah..he's the best thing that ever happen in my life and he's the sweetest thing I ever have..bismillah aja.. :)